2 minute read…

Mateship is a privilege and a joy to have!  It is the next level up from friends, they are loved ones. These are the special people we allow and look for in our inner sanctum. Only the people in our lives that we have an intimate connection with have access to our inner sanctum. It is the people we unconditionally love, trust and are not afraid to share our deepest thoughts, feelings and concerns with. It is an unexplainable bond!

Mateship is a soul-to-soul connection. There is a knowing that when we are together, being in each other’s presence, makes us feel loved, supported and happy.

They are the friends that have our back and when others walk away and pretend not to notice our struggles they step forward and say “I’m here beside you.”

They don’t take control of our lives or attempt to dictate the conditions of the mateship ; they accept us for who we are and we accept them. They support us in our time of need and love to celebrate our achievements.

The happiness that comes from mateship is uplifting. To have a confidant who never judges you is priceless.

When a mate betrays us, they show us they were never a true mate, they were an imposter. We’ll meet imposters, and it will hurt like hell when we realise they didn’t value our love for them. Many of us have spent years believing they care about us as much as we have cared about them, only to discover when the conditions suit, they’ll take the opportunity to treacherously betray the value of our mateship . They’ll discard us or arrogantly believe that they could cross the lines held within the mateship code, hoping we’ll remain loyal to the belief that we are mates. Once the lines are crossed, and hurt is felt confusion reigns. When respect is gone so is the mateship. This only proves they devalue mateship, (not you, this behaviour should never be used as an assessment of your worth).

The ultimate criteria of mateship is trust; we love that we can trust them. Our mates are trustworthy and never intentionally hurt, betray or put us down. They are our champion and we are theirs. It is an honour to be considered a mate and with that comes the responsibility of honouring those who trust us.

There are people who don’t know how to be a valuable friend, they take but don’t give back. These people may fool us that they are mates, but their true colours will eventually override any illusion they’ve used to manipulate us.

It is empowering to follow the advice of Dr. Maya Angelou, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” This doesn’t mean we can’t give some grace; hiccups happen but don’t ignore who people are. Trusting what we witness can save us a lot of heartache further down the track. When we override self-respect to give the benefit of the doubt to someone we want to remain loyal to, we open ourselves up to manipulation. Mates don’t manipulate each other!

Make your decision of who you can trust by how you feel in their presence. Always take notice of their words and actions, and if they are not in sync, acknowledge that truth. If you find you’re making excuses for them, or apologising to others on their behalf, know it is time to walk away.

Your happiness is too valuable to be wasted on false mateships.

Your integrity is too valuable to be abused by those who do not value you.

Value your friendships and choose your mates wisely.

A true mate is one the greatest sources of happiness you’ll ever know.

Written by Lorraine Nilon

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