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Enhance Emotional Well-being: A Trauma Recovery Toolkit

7min read.

Enhance Your Emotional Well-being: A Trauma Recovery Toolkit

Embarking on the journey of trauma recovery, especially from experiences of betrayal, narcissistic abuse, and childhood abuse, can be an arduous path. However, it’s essential to approach this healing journey from a place of nurturing, acknowledging the profound struggle that accompanies it.

As you walk your path though life you decide if you are going to enhance your emotional well-being. You’ll need to build your recovery toolkit as you go and improving emotional well-being should be a priority. As you discover more about yourself and truly understand the emotional, mental, and physical effects your emotional trauma has created, remember that you are an ever-evolving soul and the key to your own transformation.

lady walking with a backpack into the unknown of her emotions represented by a red forest. Spiritual podcaster Lorraine Nilon and Self-help author with quote about improving your emotional well-being

Enhance Emotional Well-being with Self-Reflection!

We all must explore the importance of facing our suppressed emotions, self-opposing beliefs, and trust that there is a purpose to this process. If we don’t, we get lost in the victimhood of our pain and become disillusioned by others’ indifference to our struggles.

The courage to face our emotions is never easily found because we condition ourselves to hide what we don’t understand; most of us don’t understand our own trauma. Improving emotional well-being starts with self-honesty and it will enhance emotional well-being once we accept the truth of our recovery being a journey! 

It is difficult to value ourselves and build a library of personal insights when we feel demoralized, unsupported, and unsafe. This is why it is important to seek help—a process that enables us to build the self-reflective skills required to come to peace with what we have experienced and the emotional scars we carry.

lady in emotional despair with hand on her forehead background the emotional forest - red trees with distance light in beckoning her to make a move so she can improve emotional well-being. Spiritual self-hep author and podcaster Lorraine Nilon

Improve Emotional Well-Being with Self-Honesty!

The road to healing begins with a courageous choice: the choice to be honest with ourselves. Yet, this simple act is often one of the most challenging. It demands the strength to challenge the familiar and trust ourselves enough to bridge the gap between where we are and where we want to be. That’s the journey, and we can’t just talk about it; we must live the healing adventure.

Be prepared for the ups and the downs while knowing we are heading to emotional freedom.

Improving emotional well-being is not suppression with a dose of amnesia. It is emotional maturity! When our memories do arise, because they will, we are not triggered to the point of being traumatized again. Instead, we manage our reaction with self-care and respect for what has occurred. We use what we have learned about ourselves since the emotional trauma. To do this, we must do the inner work, become self-aware so we can enhance emotional well-being.

Being self-reflective is the tool that enables us to do the work, build self-understanding, and become resilient. Resilience comes from dealing with our past so that is no longer carried as a soul burden!

Dealing with what burden you becomes the path to enhance emotional well-being. Once understood, you’ll never choose to reside within the pain of your trauma but it is a journey through it not around it.

When we suppress our freewill and abandon our freedom of choice, we inevitably experience inner conflict. This occurs when our unresolved emotions control us. They control us when we don’t understand the truth of what we feel, believe, and fear.

The internal turmoil leads to attempts at self-control, where we try to control ourselves to perform an image that pacifies our fear of our own emotional turbulence and to uphold an illusion that we have got ourselves and life under our control. But images are never sustainable, so when we begin to face image failure, illusions burst, and we fear being caught in the vulnerability of exposure.

Upholding an image of well-being never leads to improving emotional well-being!

lady with backpack walking into red forest -ready to face what will help with improving emotional well-being

Enhance Emotional Well-Being Tool Kit!

Our fear causes us to justify every action we use that is really an attempt to pacify your emotions. We become addicted to our avoidance of ourselves and begin to lie and blame others for what we cannot hide from ourselves. We become cyclic pattern creators and form emotional merry-go-rounds that plague our existence.

Recovery starts with a choice, and knowing that we are the ones making the greatest decisions in life is a major tool in the toolkit of recovery. Life can throw the unexpected, people can be hurtful and vicious, BUT we choose for ourselves how we feel about ourselves.

When we know we are worth the commitment to honestly deal with our emotional landscape, we empower ourselves, enhance emotional well-being and begin to acknowledge we are the purpose in our own lives. Our evolution is divine purpose.

Be reflective on the following points, contemplate their importance:

Embracing the Power of Choice:

It is starts with a choice to enhance emotional well-being and it is an important choice! YES we need to choose to apply effort to improving emotional well-being and choice can serve as an empowering stepping-stone on your healing journey.

Recognize that your choices have the potential to shape your recovery and personal growth.

Rejecting the significance of choice, on the other hand, leaves you doubting and mistrusting yourself. It hinders your progress and keeps you trapped in a cycle of emotional turmoil.

You have the freedom to choose how you respond to your experiences and to acknowledge the lessons they offer. Your reactions to life’s challenges become pivotal points in your growth and recovery.

Take Responsibility for Your Own Recovery:

You are responsible for your recovery, but that doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone. While others may have caused your pain, it’s your responsibility to heal. This isn’t a punishment but a recognition of your worth.

Enhance emotional well-being by taking the responsibility to find what we aid your healing process.

Accept Yourself:

Accepting yourself begins with a decision to honor your worth, even when others don’t.

Understand that self-acceptance is a process, and it’s okay to seek a better understanding of yourself. Compassion for yourself is the antidote to self-judgment.

Acknowledge Reality:
In a world dominated by curated images and virtual connections, it’s vital to acknowledge the importance of reality. Being present and engaged in your own life and with others can help you reconnect with your humanity.

Trust your instincts and rely on facts over judgments.

Celebrate Achievements:
Don’t wait for major accomplishments to celebrate your existence. Find joy in the small things, like smiling or laughter.

Recognize that the journey itself is valuable, and negative beliefs should not hold you back from celebrating your soul’s journey.

Building your emotional well-being is a journey that requires courage, self-compassion, and a commitment to facing your emotions. Remember that you are not alone on this path, and you have the power to choose how you respond to your experiences. By taking responsibility for your recovery, accepting yourself, acknowledging reality, and celebrating the small victories, you can begin the transformative process of healing from trauma and building your emotional well-being. Your journey is unique, significant, and worthy of celebration at every step.

 

Conclusion

Improving your emotional well-being is a journey that requires courage, self-compassion, and a commitment to facing your emotions. Remember that you are not alone on this path, and you have the power to choose how you respond to your experiences.

By taking responsibility for your recovery, accepting yourself, acknowledging reality, and celebrating the small victories, you can begin the transformative process of healing from trauma and enhance your emotional well-being. Your journey is unique, significant, and worthy of celebration at every step.

 

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Personal Reflection About Improving Emotional Well-Being:

As we navigate the intricate landscape of emotional trauma recovery, it’s important for each of us to recognize the uniqueness of our journeys. In my own pursuit of healing and growth, I’ve come to understand that acknowledging the pain and embracing the path to recovery is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor.

There have been moments when the weight of my own experiences felt insurmountable, and the choice to confront those buried emotions seemed daunting. Yet, with each step forward, I discovered the transformative power of self-reflection and the importance of honoring my choices in the healing process.

It’s essential to recognize that the journey is not linear; it involves peaks and valleys, moments of clarity, and times when the road ahead seems shrouded in uncertainty. The courage to face our emotions, coupled with the acceptance of responsibility for our own recovery, forms the bedrock of our resilience.

Through the ups and downs, the commitment to self-acceptance has been my guiding light. Compassion for oneself in the face of adversity serves as a powerful tool, helping to dispel the shadows of self-judgment and fostering an environment of understanding.

In the realm of emotional freedom, I’ve experienced the profound shift from suppression to maturity, where memories no longer trigger retraumatization. Instead, they become opportunities for self-care, reflection, and personal growth.

If you are embarking on this journey, let’s celebrate the victories—both big and small. The journey itself, with its twists and turns, is a testament to our strength and resilience.

Each moment of acknowledgment, each choice to face reality, and every step towards self-acceptance contributes to the beautiful tapestry of our emotional well-being.

May this reflection inspire you to embrace your unique path, recognizing the significance of your choices, and celebrating the ongoing evolution that defines your personal journey of healing. You are not alone, and your story is an integral part of the broader narrative of triumph over adversity.

spiritual Podcast with People listening with different emotional reactions

What is Truth-Seeking, Soul-Searching and Spiritual Exploring?

1.30 minute read… As truth-seekers, we are aware that we want to reconnect and embrace the truth of being souls. It stems from the aspiration to ‘know thy self’. This means to have an honest relationship with ourselves. Truth-seeking means our curiosity has been sparked and there is an internal thirst for knowledge that resonates with our inner being—soul. We want to reconnect with our authenticity and feel the meaningfulness of our existence.

It is not “finding ourselves”; it is recognising we are a soul, and that isn’t something we need to chase. It is accepting we aspire to understand the truth of who we are, knowing we have an opportunity to resolve what limits our self-perception and to evolve beyond those limitations.

A seeker applies effort to their curiosity. Curiosity enables us to explore, to be inquisitive so we can learn more about who we are. However, there are many pitfalls to be wary of, one is the pursuit to prove we are right in our beliefs. This is not curiosity and will leave us looking through distorted filters. Distortions create limitations and lead us to be selective in what we will acknowledge.

We often ignore everything we decide is an interference to our beliefs, leaving us oppressing our own awareness. We exert a lot of effort as we attempt to ensure what we don’t want to know remains hidden in our denial.

Truth-seekers are always confronted with their denial, and this is when the explorer within must step forward and take the reins. An explorer will acknowledge the unknown, and are prepared to travel through the unfamiliar, looking to discover what is there. A soul explorer removes filters and is willing to investigate—contemplate reality, through objective observation.

A spiritual explorer embraces their curiosity, and allows the yearning to discover and comprehend truth, to be the compass to their adventure.

An explorer recognises the importance of soul-searching, to carefully examine their thoughts, beliefs, words and feelings. It is being prepared to acknowledge the truth of our motives, reactions and how we interact with others and our life experiences.

All evolutionary journeys require us to seek, search and explore. This builds our self-awareness and fosters a healthy relationship with ourselves, life and others.

If your curiosity is sparked, you’ll enjoy – Are you a spiritual explorer? 

Feet-on-the-Ground Spirituality

4 minute read…

There are many pitfalls that often leave spiritual seekers, even those with the best intentions, to lose themselves to illusions. Illusions conjured by their desire to be spiritual, elite or an attempt to escape their internal turmoil. We have all fallen into them, and some are difficult to detect because they feed our spiritual ego.

It is important to recognise when we are spiritually bypassing our real issues and behaviours.

John Welwood, a Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist, in the early 1980s first coined the term spiritual bypassing – “the tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to side-step or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds and unfinished development tasks.” This beautifully sums up what many do, often unintentionally and yet with conviction.

It is easy to become lost in denial, especially when we run an internal narrative that feeds the illusion of transcendence or transformation, before we have even identified the truth of our emotional selves.

When we fool ourselves with spiritual beliefs and practices, it becomes easier to oppose being truthful. Life has a way of revealing the truth to us, and all spiritual journeys are fraught with crossroads of decisions that basically come down to either:

  • Acknowledge the rawness of our truth, while being willing to explore the truth with an open mind. Get real about it.

or

  • Cling to the story we want to believe, while protectively deflecting any evidence that proves we don’t understand our truth. Create a distraction that ensures we don’t even look.

We do the latter by ignoring and justifying any behaviour that exposes what is unresolved within or is used to shield us from having to face our own reality.

Spiritual bypassing is telling ourselves what we want to hear to justify our denial of our reality. It is attempting to remain in a performance derived from a spiritual illusion, to not only avoid facing the reality of our emotional issues and behaviours, but to also feel in control of our suppression of them.

Spiritual by-passing: Ignoring the reality of yourself, while clinging to a spiritual belief or illusion that distracts you from being honest. Using spiritual concepts, words and beliefs to deny self-responsibility and soul-accountability. (Sourced from glossary of Spirituality, Evolution & Awakened Consciousness)

Feet-on-the-ground spirituality means the opposite of spiritual bypassing. It means to get real, face our emotional issues and behaviours with honest self-observations. It is being prepared to acknowledge the truth of our unconsciousness and do the work required to resolve it.

Doing the work means to be truthful, acknowledge the emotions, feel the reality of them, develop an understanding through self-reflection and contemplation. And then use that information – awareness, to apply a conscious response to what was once an unconscious aspect of ourselves.

Feet-on-the-ground spirituality is to be spiritual in reality,
not to create an alternate reality to be spiritual in.

When we acknowledge part of any spiritual journey is learning the truth of our emotional reality, we become willing to confront what we have suppressed and hidden within with self-compassion.

Life is a rise and fall from grace journey. We can be operating extremely authentically and then stumble and fall into embodying the unconsciousness of our soul – some refer to it as the shadow-side.

Feet-on-the-ground spirituality means we are willing, sometimes reluctantly, to recognise and take self-responsibility for the energy of our unconsciousness. Spirituality is knowing that we are souls, and when exposed to the truth of our own energy, we accept that there is an opportunity to learn from ourselves. This requires truthfulness, which we all know at times is difficult to muster, as we compete against all the embedded beliefs, fears and triggered emotions that cause us to fall from grace.

Fall from grace is operating separated from our soul’s consciousness – the divinity within, our authenticity. This is, in contrast, to rise with grace, which is to operate in unification with our soul’s consciousness and truth. Spirituality is the journey of creating unity within. Spiritual bypassing is sustaining the separation while believing there is no separation, and filling the void created with spiritual illusions and performances.

Grace stems from our acceptance that it is truth, in all its forms that will aid us to be honestly present, willing to objectively observe ourselves as we endeavour to discover the truth of who we are, as we resolve what oppresses our soul-awareness.

Spirituality is the recognition that there is a continuum to our souls, and life is a part of that journey. When we are willing to resolve what is unresolved within, which is to heal.

Resolving what burdens our soul, enables us to evolve beyond the limitations of our unconsciousness, because we will no longer carry the energy that burdens our soul.

Feet-on-the-ground spirituality is honouring the consciousness of who we naturally are and of our origins, by being prepared to face, learn from and deal with what impedes our relationship with truth. It is then the practice of being truthful, especially to ourselves about ourselves. Applying what we learn to our day-to-day existence. This improves our relationship with ourselves – our souls, truth and our origins. It also enables our consciousness to flow freely, expanding our awareness of truth. This is evolution.

Feet-on-the-ground spirituality is to be conscious of your soul journey,
seeking what nurtures your soul, while respecting that life and
all the messy emotional adventures are positioning you to
discover the present reality of yourself.

I believe if you took the time to continue to read this to the end, you seek to be spiritually authentic.

The True Value of Mateship

2 minute read…

Mateship is a privilege and a joy to have!  It is the next level up from friends, they are loved ones. These are the special people we allow and look for in our inner sanctum. Only the people in our lives that we have an intimate connection with have access to our inner sanctum. It is the people we unconditionally love, trust and are not afraid to share our deepest thoughts, feelings and concerns with. It is an unexplainable bond!

Mateship is a soul-to-soul connection. There is a knowing that when we are together, being in each other’s presence, makes us feel loved, supported and happy.

They are the friends that have our back and when others walk away and pretend not to notice our struggles they step forward and say “I’m here beside you.”

They don’t take control of our lives or attempt to dictate the conditions of the mateship ; they accept us for who we are and we accept them. They support us in our time of need and love to celebrate our achievements.

The happiness that comes from mateship is uplifting. To have a confidant who never judges you is priceless.

When a mate betrays us, they show us they were never a true mate, they were an imposter. We’ll meet imposters, and it will hurt like hell when we realise they didn’t value our love for them. Many of us have spent years believing they care about us as much as we have cared about them, only to discover when the conditions suit, they’ll take the opportunity to treacherously betray the value of our mateship . They’ll discard us or arrogantly believe that they could cross the lines held within the mateship code, hoping we’ll remain loyal to the belief that we are mates. Once the lines are crossed, and hurt is felt confusion reigns. When respect is gone so is the mateship. This only proves they devalue mateship, (not you, this behaviour should never be used as an assessment of your worth).

The ultimate criteria of mateship is trust; we love that we can trust them. Our mates are trustworthy and never intentionally hurt, betray or put us down. They are our champion and we are theirs. It is an honour to be considered a mate and with that comes the responsibility of honouring those who trust us.

There are people who don’t know how to be a valuable friend, they take but don’t give back. These people may fool us that they are mates, but their true colours will eventually override any illusion they’ve used to manipulate us.

It is empowering to follow the advice of Dr. Maya Angelou, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” This doesn’t mean we can’t give some grace; hiccups happen but don’t ignore who people are. Trusting what we witness can save us a lot of heartache further down the track. When we override self-respect to give the benefit of the doubt to someone we want to remain loyal to, we open ourselves up to manipulation. Mates don’t manipulate each other!

Make your decision of who you can trust by how you feel in their presence. Always take notice of their words and actions, and if they are not in sync, acknowledge that truth. If you find you’re making excuses for them, or apologising to others on their behalf, know it is time to walk away.

Your happiness is too valuable to be wasted on false mateships.

Your integrity is too valuable to be abused by those who do not value you.

Value your friendships and choose your mates wisely.

A true mate is one the greatest sources of happiness you’ll ever know.

Written by Lorraine Nilon

 

 

 

 

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