An excerpt from Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence
Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence was written with the survivor of sexual abuse in mind. This book is intended to be a respectful exploration into the effects of paedophilic abuse and to explain why the indifference energy produced by those willing to abuse, is so destructive. I want to be very clear with you, I am not a psychologist, and this book has been written from my insight and awareness of energy. I intend to explain indifference and how it affects the soul. I have become a custodian of many wounded souls’ accounts of their history and experiences of sexual abuse. As I met many souls living with this history, I was shocked at how prevalent abuse is within our society. Regardless of how many horrific accounts of sexual abuse I hear, I am always shocked. How could one soul do this to another soul, especially a child, when there is not a soul on this planet that deserves to be treated with such indifference? How could anyone ignore the insidious indifference required to hurt another soul in such a manner?
As I listened to many recounts of child abuse and the ongoing effects into adulthood, I energetically tracked the energy and became acutely aware of how the carried victim energy was affecting each abused soul. I realised the victim mentality was built on misconceptions and attempts to conceal fear. One of the consistent misconceptions I heard is the belief that it was the victim’s unworthiness that caused the paedophile to choose to abuse them. This is not true; if you have been abused it is not because of a lack of worthiness. It was because a paedophile saw or created an opportunity to control and abuse you.
You cannot change the truth of your history or the ramifications you have experienced because of your history. However you can change how you feel about yourself, especially if how you feel about yourself is built on misconceptions and attempts to conceal your fear. You can rediscover and feel the true value, worth and significance of who you are. This book has been written to illuminate all that I have become privy to, because of the souls who were willing to be honest about their struggle, with the hope of resolving the wounds that paedophilia leaves behind. Paedophilia is an extreme form of indifference towards another soul and the complexities of abuse are difficult to understand and recover from. This book is a way of bringing to the surface that which is hidden in order to help those who want to Break Free From the Chains of Silence.
Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence was written to explain how the experience of abuse has such a hold on you and why it is not easy to shake off your past. When you have been wounded by a paedophile’s indifference you feel as though you are carrying a stain on your soul. If you are a survivor, you can often feel pressured by yourself, your family and society to ignore your own history of abuse and let the past be the past. You may believe you have to be stoically brave, silently fighting your own internal upheavals, without inconveniencing others with the emotional dilemmas resulting from your sexual abuse. The past is not the past if you carry the pain and feel like there is a stain on your soul. Being aware of the pain carried can cause you to blame yourself for not being able to come to terms with the true extent of the abuse and to immerse yourself in the fear that there is something wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you; you are in a difficult place, but you always have the potential to recover. However, recovery does require truthful honesty and your willingness to engage in caring for your soul.
The journey of recovery from your history of paedophilic abuse is complicated because it is an experience that is felt within the core of your being, and is often compounded by a myriad of other experiences of indifference. You carry your pain as fear within yourself, so you become fearful of not being in control, and fearful of being in control. You become fearful of being vulnerable, exposed, talked about, shamed and of never being free from your internal torment. The fear entraps you in the carried victim energy and becomes an emotional prison. The way to resolve fear is to become informed and to bring what is hidden in the shadows out into full awareness.
We, as society, do not know how to respond to the reality of sexual abuse and often attempt to avoid the insidiousness of abuse and abusers. This can cause us to struggle to comprehend what the survivor of abuse tries to explain, which is often muffled by their fear and shame. We can overlook the ongoing suffering the survivor endures because it is so unfathomable. The survivor can be painted as damaged beyond our comprehension, which causes us to try to avoid the true impact abuse has on the individual, their family, their community and the fabric of society. Our avoidance of truth is derived from a fear of not knowing how to deal with the emotional, energetic and physical reality of sexual abuse. This fear becomes judgement, which can cause the innocent victim to attempt to hide from their own reality and become a runner who struggles to escape from the truth of their own unresolved emotions.
The stigma of sexual abuse can silence the victim, which is why society needs to be more informed and exposed to the reality of the long-lasting effects of abuse. Sexual abuse can cause the victim to experience anxiety, depression, oversensitivity, obsessions, unreasonable fears and uncontrollable compulsions. These are all symptoms of the fear engulfing the victim and from believing they are unable to escape what they want to run from, which is the emotional upheaval they feel within. This book was written to assist you to choose to stop running and instead walk towards what is within you that needs resolving. It was written with the intention of putting the jigsaw together, in the hope that you will no longer need to carry fear or be indifferent to the truth of your own natural significance, uniqueness, independence and individuality. The intention of this book is for you to use it as an assistant to clarity, and to use your clarity to release yourself from your own indifference to truth and the misconception that you need to remain permanently wounded and broken.
The information is intended to explain why the experience of abuse emotionally feels like it shattered your soul. I say “feels like” because the experience of abuse may have shattered your awareness of your soul, but your soul’s consciousness remains unbroken, hidden beneath your self-judgement, hurt, shame and humiliation. It can be a long journey back to rediscover the natural essence of your soul, but it can also be exciting to awaken to the truth and strength of your soul. You will experience a myriad of emotions and feelings that can potentially expose truth to you. Please do not run, trust yourself to explore what is written and be kind to yourself.
You can become so locked into your survival mode that you condition yourself to avoid feeling the joy within your soul or your own natural compassion for yourself and others. As you discover pieces of your unique jigsaw, acknowledge the relief of finding what was previously hidden from you.
The information is confronting. There is no point in soft selling or hiding from the reality of the truth of paedophilia and the effects of carried victim energy. The information is intended to clarify the confusion, explain why the process of recovery is complicated and give hope to those who fear they will never feel safe or feel peaceful within themselves.